I see results.........TRAP

So this week, I fell into the "I see results trap". Results are a good thing, but they can also be detrimental to your journey, if not handled correctly. I look in the mirror, I see results, I feel great, I can slow down right? WRONG. I did that this week and am paying for it. Everything seems harder again. Folks, just 4 days off will do that to you. I took off 4 days in a row, at the fitness level. My eating was still good, but I didn't care as much about documenting what I was eating, when I took the days off from fitness. I'm finding they go hand in hand. When I'm working out, I care, when I'm not, I don't. Okay. Back on track this week. No looking back. Still forging ahead. I am different. I got this. Every.last.step

Forever Trek, NOT a morning hike

Week 10 Weigh in:
Weight: 227.2
Pounds Lost this week: 4!!!!!!!!
Pounds to Lose: 92.2
Pounds Lost Total: 30.8
What weighs 30 pounds: 32 inch flat screen TV

I am VERY teary this morning for a different reason. I am proud, empowered, frustrated and angry all at the same time. I am proud for obvious reasons. I am angry and frustrated that I let myself get this big. BUT I am moving forward. This week was tough mentally. After losing so little last week, I had to keep moving forward. Thank you for all of the encouragement last week to look ahead and remind me that this is an entire trek and not a 30 minute hike. Thank you for the hope you brought back to me.

Why this week is so monumental
In the past, I would have looked at the scale and said, "FORGET THIS". No way am I going to keep working this hard to show this little improvement. I would have gone back to my old ways, only to look at my efforts in the rear view mirror as I was peeling out and driving away from them. What I didn't realize last time was that this is a lifetime of hiking and not a morning stroll. I get that now, and I am very thankful for that realization. This is the very key to my success.


Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 8.78 miles
Zumba Class: 3 hours
Arm Weight Circuit: 40 minutes
Treadmill: 1.5 hours

BECAUSE I COULDN'T QUIT ON ME!!! Every.Last.Step

Week 9 Weigh In.......the elephant in the room

Week 9 Weigh in:
Weight: 231.2
Pounds Lost this week: .6 (NOT A TYPO)
Pounds to Lose: 96.2
Pounds Lost Total: 26.8

Let's just address the elephant in the room already. Why did I only lose .6 pounds? My calorie defecit this week was 11595 (breaks down to approx 3.3 pounds). UGGGHHHH I am VERY teary and frustrated this morning. I have run through all of the below drills in my head:
1. It's a journey, it takes time
2. You didn't put it on overnight and you won't take it off overnight
3. Muscle weighs more than fat (which it doesn't by the way. 1 pound is 1 pound is 1 pound)
4. You still lost
5. 3500 calorie deficit does not AUTOMATICALLY equal 1 pound
6. Don't focus on your weight, focus on your health.

BUT the one that stuck and finally pulled me more out of my funk is that, I AM REAL. I am not a fantasy. My journey is just that a human journey. How can others truly be inspired by me if they don't get to experience shortcomings as well as successes. I do consider this a shortcoming even though I still lost. I had set an expectation for myself and fell short. YES IT DOES STINK. YES I WANT TO THROW A TANTRUM. YES I WANT PEOPLE TO SAY, THIS STINKS.But I have to keep moving forward.

I could spend all day trying to figure it out, googling weight loss plateaus, pointing my finger and placing blame. BUT I CHOSE to move on and look toward next week.

What are some things I can keep in mind going into next week:
1. DRINK YOUR WATER
2. Lower sodium intake (Did you know cottage cheese has 460mg of sodium per serving)
3. Work on core and balance so I can move to weight training
4. Don't have a specific number of pounds I want to lose at the beginning of the week. Focus on being healthy.

Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 12.34 miles
Zumba Class: 3 hours
Elliptical: 5 minutes
Cycling: 10 minutes
Treadmill: 45 minutes

This is still my journey. I am still fabulous and I am looking ahead and moving forward.
Every.last.step

Wait.....How many Zumba classes was I consuming?

I pulled into the McDonald's drive through this morning on my way home from Zumba. As I pulled in, I had a flood of thoughts. Strangely it felt a little like home. I felt a tinge of comfort. I wondered if "my friends" at the window would recognize me and wonder where I've been. You see, I was frequenting McDonald's five days a week for breakfast. Breakfast of Champions? -- hardly. I was ADDICTED to crap. I was eating 2 breakfast sandwiches on most days. On the days where I was going to be "Stressed" or "Deserved" it, I would pick up a third breakfast sandwich. I washed it down with 1-2 large diet cokes. Thank goodness it was diet with all of those breakfast calories. AND I was eating vegetarian, that counts for something right? Embarrassment would usually overcome me as I would pull up morning after morning, only for the same people to greet me. That was not enough to stop me. "What are they thinking about me?" "They must recognize me." This morning, my most overwhelming thought.....UNCOMFORTABLE. What was the new me doing in a McDonald's drive through you ask? I wanted to pick up a strawberry banana smoothie for my husband who was home sick. Over the past 3 days I burned a combined total of 1864 calories doing Zumba alone. McDonald's now has calories noted below each food item on their menu. I WAS MORTIFIED as I started adding up the breakfast calories consumed for breakfast in my past life. Ready for this? Might want to hide under a table because this is SCARY! I was killing myself one breakfast at a time.

Old Me
Daily Breakfast Counts
Calories: 1170 of my 1400-1600 daily recommended
Sodium: 3265 mg of my 2300 daily recommended (WOOPS)
Fat: 53 grams
Cost: $8.50

Weekly Counts
Calories: 5850
Sodium: 16325 mg
Fat: 265 grams
Cost: $42.50

Monthly Counts
Calories: 29250
Sodium: 81625 mg
Fat: 1325 grams
Cost: $212.50

Yearly Counts
Calories: 304200
Sodium: 848900 mg
Fat: 13780 grams
Cost: $2210.00

New Me
Daily Breakfast Counts
Calories: 200-300
Sodium: 400-500mg
Fat: 0-10 grams
Cost: $2.00

Weekly Counts
Calories: 1000-1500
Sodium: 2000-2500mg
Fat: 0-50 grams
Cost: $10.00

Monthly Counts
Calories: 5000-7500
Sodium: 10000-12500mg
Fat: 0-250 grams
Cost: $50.00

Yearly Counts
Calories: 52000 - 78000
Sodium: 104000-130000mg
Fat: 0-2600 grams
Cost: $520.00

With those sodium levels alone, I was headed on a straight path to a heart attack. How many Zumba classes was I eating? I was eating 2 Zumba classes EVERY DAY for breakfast. Zumba is NO JOKE. It is one of the toughest things I have done in a very long time. I cannot imagine doing 2 Zumba classes a day to keep up with my eating. How many Zumba classes are you eating? What are some healthy exchanges you can make? YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE!!!!

Every.last.step

Keep your promises........to yourself

As I was strolling the isles of the grocery store this morning I couldn't help but wonder, "Why did I let myself get to this point?" I have tried MANY times and have failed. I was thinking how often I make promises to others and KILL myself to keep the promises I make. I over commit and will often lose sleep, stress out, and become CRAZY women to keep my promises. Why then was I not keeping promises to myself? I would often say, I'm going to start Monday. For most of us, if someone asked for a favor TODAY, we would sacrifice to help them out. Why are Mondays so popular when starting a new life change? Why was I not starting TODAY. Why was I not important enough to keep promises to myself?

I'm here today to tell you, WE ARE THAT IMPORTANT! We matter. Without health, what do we have? Our health is the core of all that we are and all that we do. If we do not take care of ourselves, who is going to?

Steps to get to this point:

1. Reflect on why you are where you are. What decisions have you made to this point to get to where you are.

2. Reflect on reasons why you love yourself and why you are worth it

3. Make a promise to yourself, that you intend to keep

4. Pick 1 thing to change this week to make yourself healthier

• Move more. If you are not walking, commit to walking at least 10 minutes every day this week. If you can't walk 10 minutes, walk 5 minutes. If you can't walk, swim. If you can't swim, bike. If you can't bike, crawl.
• Whatever it takes to MOVE.
• Cut back on soda
• Cut back on sugar
• Incorporate more weights
• Get more sleep

5. Ensure your changes match where YOU are AT THIS MOMENT. DO NOT compare yourself to Jillian Michaels and expect to succeed. YOU ARE YOU and that is COOL!

Every.last.step - Make it COUNT!

Blog Unveiling

I'm about to post my blog and there have been a couple of things holding me back from completely putting myself out there.ALL.THE.WAY. I have been struggling with whether or not to share my weight and / or weight loss photos. I have decided, I am ready to share my weight. I'm not quite ready to share the pictures yet. If you chose to judge, please keep it to yourself. I think sharing my weight is going to accomplish 2 things:

1. Help me release the remainder of the shame that is left so I can go FULL FORCE on my journey

2. Help me help others who are my size to realize THEY CAN DO IT TOO!!!!!

My starting weight: 258 lbs
My current weight: 231.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 135 lbs

Welcome to my life, my journey, my strengths, my weaknesses, my raw emotions. Welcome to me.

2 Month Reflection

Weight Loss Total: 26.2 pounds
Inches Lost Total: 19.5
Achievements: Two 5Ks

Reflections
CANNOT believe it has been 2 months. Some days it feels as though it has been years and others if feels as though it has been days. When I first made the decision of my life to change it, I knew it would be different this time. I knew I wouldn't fail. I knew I had this. Even with all of that confidence, I find myself having to pinch myself and wonder if this is for real. The old me would have failed by now. My longest success was always about 2 months. I've tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Dexitrim, laxatives, and calorie counting. All ended the same. FAILURE. I have found the magic formula and it is simply this:
eat right x exercise x loving yourself x routine = SUCCESS

Struggles
I am still VERY tempted by my old habits. I was eating out 2x a day (most days). Do you think that taste for fast food went away that quickly? UM no. Not even close. Every time I drive by McDonald's or Taco Bell (my 2 old favs) I have to have a talk with my inner toddler. I ask my inner toddler, "How bad do you want that" "How bad do you want this". Anytime I walk into an old establishment I have to put on the new me before I walk in. If people could hear the self talk that goes on inside of me, they would think I was truly nuts. The self talk is hourly, daily, monthly. It goes on and on, and will continue throughout my entire journey which is FOREVER. 

Questions I have to ask myself DAILY:
1. How bad do you want this
2. Will the taste of "XYZ unhealthy food" for 10 seconds be worth the backwards motion
3. Do you want to throw your workout out the window by giving into your temptations
4. Why do you want this
5. What are the benefits of the new lifestyle vs. the old lifestyle

Moving Forward
In month 3, I look forward to my endurance increasing. More races. Getting rid of more clothes. Wearing a swimsuit. Inspiring many.

Every.Last.Step