Forever Trek, NOT a morning hike

Week 10 Weigh in:
Weight: 227.2
Pounds Lost this week: 4!!!!!!!!
Pounds to Lose: 92.2
Pounds Lost Total: 30.8
What weighs 30 pounds: 32 inch flat screen TV

I am VERY teary this morning for a different reason. I am proud, empowered, frustrated and angry all at the same time. I am proud for obvious reasons. I am angry and frustrated that I let myself get this big. BUT I am moving forward. This week was tough mentally. After losing so little last week, I had to keep moving forward. Thank you for all of the encouragement last week to look ahead and remind me that this is an entire trek and not a 30 minute hike. Thank you for the hope you brought back to me.

Why this week is so monumental
In the past, I would have looked at the scale and said, "FORGET THIS". No way am I going to keep working this hard to show this little improvement. I would have gone back to my old ways, only to look at my efforts in the rear view mirror as I was peeling out and driving away from them. What I didn't realize last time was that this is a lifetime of hiking and not a morning stroll. I get that now, and I am very thankful for that realization. This is the very key to my success.


Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 8.78 miles
Zumba Class: 3 hours
Arm Weight Circuit: 40 minutes
Treadmill: 1.5 hours

BECAUSE I COULDN'T QUIT ON ME!!! Every.Last.Step

Week 9 Weigh In.......the elephant in the room

Week 9 Weigh in:
Weight: 231.2
Pounds Lost this week: .6 (NOT A TYPO)
Pounds to Lose: 96.2
Pounds Lost Total: 26.8

Let's just address the elephant in the room already. Why did I only lose .6 pounds? My calorie defecit this week was 11595 (breaks down to approx 3.3 pounds). UGGGHHHH I am VERY teary and frustrated this morning. I have run through all of the below drills in my head:
1. It's a journey, it takes time
2. You didn't put it on overnight and you won't take it off overnight
3. Muscle weighs more than fat (which it doesn't by the way. 1 pound is 1 pound is 1 pound)
4. You still lost
5. 3500 calorie deficit does not AUTOMATICALLY equal 1 pound
6. Don't focus on your weight, focus on your health.

BUT the one that stuck and finally pulled me more out of my funk is that, I AM REAL. I am not a fantasy. My journey is just that a human journey. How can others truly be inspired by me if they don't get to experience shortcomings as well as successes. I do consider this a shortcoming even though I still lost. I had set an expectation for myself and fell short. YES IT DOES STINK. YES I WANT TO THROW A TANTRUM. YES I WANT PEOPLE TO SAY, THIS STINKS.But I have to keep moving forward.

I could spend all day trying to figure it out, googling weight loss plateaus, pointing my finger and placing blame. BUT I CHOSE to move on and look toward next week.

What are some things I can keep in mind going into next week:
1. DRINK YOUR WATER
2. Lower sodium intake (Did you know cottage cheese has 460mg of sodium per serving)
3. Work on core and balance so I can move to weight training
4. Don't have a specific number of pounds I want to lose at the beginning of the week. Focus on being healthy.

Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 12.34 miles
Zumba Class: 3 hours
Elliptical: 5 minutes
Cycling: 10 minutes
Treadmill: 45 minutes

This is still my journey. I am still fabulous and I am looking ahead and moving forward.
Every.last.step

Wait.....How many Zumba classes was I consuming?

I pulled into the McDonald's drive through this morning on my way home from Zumba. As I pulled in, I had a flood of thoughts. Strangely it felt a little like home. I felt a tinge of comfort. I wondered if "my friends" at the window would recognize me and wonder where I've been. You see, I was frequenting McDonald's five days a week for breakfast. Breakfast of Champions? -- hardly. I was ADDICTED to crap. I was eating 2 breakfast sandwiches on most days. On the days where I was going to be "Stressed" or "Deserved" it, I would pick up a third breakfast sandwich. I washed it down with 1-2 large diet cokes. Thank goodness it was diet with all of those breakfast calories. AND I was eating vegetarian, that counts for something right? Embarrassment would usually overcome me as I would pull up morning after morning, only for the same people to greet me. That was not enough to stop me. "What are they thinking about me?" "They must recognize me." This morning, my most overwhelming thought.....UNCOMFORTABLE. What was the new me doing in a McDonald's drive through you ask? I wanted to pick up a strawberry banana smoothie for my husband who was home sick. Over the past 3 days I burned a combined total of 1864 calories doing Zumba alone. McDonald's now has calories noted below each food item on their menu. I WAS MORTIFIED as I started adding up the breakfast calories consumed for breakfast in my past life. Ready for this? Might want to hide under a table because this is SCARY! I was killing myself one breakfast at a time.

Old Me
Daily Breakfast Counts
Calories: 1170 of my 1400-1600 daily recommended
Sodium: 3265 mg of my 2300 daily recommended (WOOPS)
Fat: 53 grams
Cost: $8.50

Weekly Counts
Calories: 5850
Sodium: 16325 mg
Fat: 265 grams
Cost: $42.50

Monthly Counts
Calories: 29250
Sodium: 81625 mg
Fat: 1325 grams
Cost: $212.50

Yearly Counts
Calories: 304200
Sodium: 848900 mg
Fat: 13780 grams
Cost: $2210.00

New Me
Daily Breakfast Counts
Calories: 200-300
Sodium: 400-500mg
Fat: 0-10 grams
Cost: $2.00

Weekly Counts
Calories: 1000-1500
Sodium: 2000-2500mg
Fat: 0-50 grams
Cost: $10.00

Monthly Counts
Calories: 5000-7500
Sodium: 10000-12500mg
Fat: 0-250 grams
Cost: $50.00

Yearly Counts
Calories: 52000 - 78000
Sodium: 104000-130000mg
Fat: 0-2600 grams
Cost: $520.00

With those sodium levels alone, I was headed on a straight path to a heart attack. How many Zumba classes was I eating? I was eating 2 Zumba classes EVERY DAY for breakfast. Zumba is NO JOKE. It is one of the toughest things I have done in a very long time. I cannot imagine doing 2 Zumba classes a day to keep up with my eating. How many Zumba classes are you eating? What are some healthy exchanges you can make? YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE!!!!

Every.last.step

Keep your promises........to yourself

As I was strolling the isles of the grocery store this morning I couldn't help but wonder, "Why did I let myself get to this point?" I have tried MANY times and have failed. I was thinking how often I make promises to others and KILL myself to keep the promises I make. I over commit and will often lose sleep, stress out, and become CRAZY women to keep my promises. Why then was I not keeping promises to myself? I would often say, I'm going to start Monday. For most of us, if someone asked for a favor TODAY, we would sacrifice to help them out. Why are Mondays so popular when starting a new life change? Why was I not starting TODAY. Why was I not important enough to keep promises to myself?

I'm here today to tell you, WE ARE THAT IMPORTANT! We matter. Without health, what do we have? Our health is the core of all that we are and all that we do. If we do not take care of ourselves, who is going to?

Steps to get to this point:

1. Reflect on why you are where you are. What decisions have you made to this point to get to where you are.

2. Reflect on reasons why you love yourself and why you are worth it

3. Make a promise to yourself, that you intend to keep

4. Pick 1 thing to change this week to make yourself healthier

• Move more. If you are not walking, commit to walking at least 10 minutes every day this week. If you can't walk 10 minutes, walk 5 minutes. If you can't walk, swim. If you can't swim, bike. If you can't bike, crawl.
• Whatever it takes to MOVE.
• Cut back on soda
• Cut back on sugar
• Incorporate more weights
• Get more sleep

5. Ensure your changes match where YOU are AT THIS MOMENT. DO NOT compare yourself to Jillian Michaels and expect to succeed. YOU ARE YOU and that is COOL!

Every.last.step - Make it COUNT!

Blog Unveiling

I'm about to post my blog and there have been a couple of things holding me back from completely putting myself out there.ALL.THE.WAY. I have been struggling with whether or not to share my weight and / or weight loss photos. I have decided, I am ready to share my weight. I'm not quite ready to share the pictures yet. If you chose to judge, please keep it to yourself. I think sharing my weight is going to accomplish 2 things:

1. Help me release the remainder of the shame that is left so I can go FULL FORCE on my journey

2. Help me help others who are my size to realize THEY CAN DO IT TOO!!!!!

My starting weight: 258 lbs
My current weight: 231.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 135 lbs

Welcome to my life, my journey, my strengths, my weaknesses, my raw emotions. Welcome to me.

2 Month Reflection

Weight Loss Total: 26.2 pounds
Inches Lost Total: 19.5
Achievements: Two 5Ks

Reflections
CANNOT believe it has been 2 months. Some days it feels as though it has been years and others if feels as though it has been days. When I first made the decision of my life to change it, I knew it would be different this time. I knew I wouldn't fail. I knew I had this. Even with all of that confidence, I find myself having to pinch myself and wonder if this is for real. The old me would have failed by now. My longest success was always about 2 months. I've tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Dexitrim, laxatives, and calorie counting. All ended the same. FAILURE. I have found the magic formula and it is simply this:
eat right x exercise x loving yourself x routine = SUCCESS

Struggles
I am still VERY tempted by my old habits. I was eating out 2x a day (most days). Do you think that taste for fast food went away that quickly? UM no. Not even close. Every time I drive by McDonald's or Taco Bell (my 2 old favs) I have to have a talk with my inner toddler. I ask my inner toddler, "How bad do you want that" "How bad do you want this". Anytime I walk into an old establishment I have to put on the new me before I walk in. If people could hear the self talk that goes on inside of me, they would think I was truly nuts. The self talk is hourly, daily, monthly. It goes on and on, and will continue throughout my entire journey which is FOREVER. 

Questions I have to ask myself DAILY:
1. How bad do you want this
2. Will the taste of "XYZ unhealthy food" for 10 seconds be worth the backwards motion
3. Do you want to throw your workout out the window by giving into your temptations
4. Why do you want this
5. What are the benefits of the new lifestyle vs. the old lifestyle

Moving Forward
In month 3, I look forward to my endurance increasing. More races. Getting rid of more clothes. Wearing a swimsuit. Inspiring many.

Every.Last.Step

Keep Fighting - Double Meaning

Woke up this morning, laced up my shoes, getting ready for a race. This 5K was unlike any others. This 5K is the Keep Fighting 5K. The Go Mitch Go foundation raises money to help find a cure for child Leukemia. As mentioned a while back, I have a new found motivation to work out and get healthy to honor those whose lives were taken without their control, much too soon. Right before Mitch died, his last words were "Keep Fighting". He fought hard, but the Leukemia took him home to the Lord much too soon. 

This 5K today was very hilly, grass, muddy, rocky and pure ankle twisting. I twisted my ankles a couple of times, but kept hearing "Keep Fighting" ringing in my ears. I pushed hard, did the work, and beat my goal of under 45 minutes. That may seem slow to many, but to me, I can say that I GAVE IT ALL I HAD up until the very end.

Not only will I keep fighting in my own personal life and for my health, I will keep fighting for others. I will be your supporter, your fan, your shoulder, your motivator, your encourager, your example.

Can't think of a better way to celebrate my two month healthy me anniversary than to get the day started with a 5k for a good cause. #keepfighting

8 week weigh in

Pounds Lost this week: 2.4
Pounds to Lose: 96.8 
Pounds Lost Total: 26.2
What weighs 26 pounds: An average 2 year old. This made me get emotional. Can you imagine carrying around a 2 year old - ALL THE TIME? My body is saying THANK YOU for putting down the 2 year old.

Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 13.15 miles 
Zumba Class: 1 hour
Elliptical: 25 minutes
Cycling: 15 minutes
Treadmill: 25 minutes
Benefits Felt1. More clothes to chose from2. Able to stop and check myself out in reflections, instead of dodging them3. Endurance increasing4. Mile is getting faster
Frustrations and Pitfalls1. Calorie deficits this week should have produced more pounds lost2. Comparing my journey to others journeys and getting frustrated, losing focus on my journey3. Weighed myself daily and several times a day. This REALLY messed with my head
Lesson Learned1. Yes, I did give into a temptation and had a small piece of cheese pizza that I had for the girls last night. But I stopped in my pity party tracks and took advice that I've given to friends. Celebrate your strengths in your weak moments. What was to celebrate you ask? Well, I would normally take the biggest piece that was left. This time, I took the smallest piece, which was pretty small. I stopped at one piece and walked away. I put it all away in the refrigerator and did not touch anymore. My calorie deficit yesterday was still 1700 even with the cheese pizza.
2. My journey is NOT your journey and your journey is NOT my journey. We are different people on different paths toward the same goal. HEALTH. It is OK if I am not losing as fast as others. It is a LIE to think that I am failing because of this. I am NOT failing. I AM WINNING.
3. I need to rework my calorie plan/intake. I had enough deficit this week to lose twice what I lost. I need to try to determine what the problem is and tweak somethings.
Ready for Month 3 - LET'S DO THIS!!!!!

White girl can't dance

For anyone that has ever seen me dance, you know, THIS WHITE GIRL CAN'T DANCE. I am not ever going to be on dancing with the stars, but I am getting out there and doing it in front of GIANT mirrors. I danced my way to 622 calories less today. Even did a Brazilian dance battle in Zumba. I'm pretty sure I lost the battle but I'm not losing the fight for my life.

Every.last.step

5K - Let's do this

So excited for our 5k today Andrew! My goal is to beat 45 minutes. I'm ready!!! Okay. I must be married to Andrew because I added .7miles to my 5k. 3.8 miles in 53 minutes. Would have beat my goal....oh well. I'll get it next time. I did get third in my age group. It was a small race but not everyone in my age group received a medal, but I DID!!! I am really doing this

New Body New Hair

New body new look. Finally using the Christmas gift certificate from my hubby. What better way to celebrate the new me then a new hair do:

Before

After

7 week weigh in

Pounds Lost this week: 3.2
Pounds to Lose: 99.2 (under 100 pounds to lose!!!!!)
Pounds Lost: 23.8 total
What weighs 23 pounds: Amount of Pizza an average American eats every year... 

Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 18.14 miles 
Zumba Class: 1 hour
Core: 30 minutes
Elliptical: 20 minutes

Benefits Felt
1. Jogging in longer spurts during walk/jog
2. Gaining more confidence in myself
3. Can walk up and down stairs easy
4. Foot pain diminishing
5. Nutrition Control is much easier

Lessons Learned
1. It is taking a lot more to burn calories. Going to lower my caloric intake some
2. I am a lot tougher than I ever thought
3. There are a lot of FUN ways to burn calories and Zumba is one of them

Ready for week 8!!!!

NEVER GONNA STOP

It is being revealed to me more and more how much my old lifestyle impacted my family. Ashleigh, my five year old, came to me last night and asked, "Mom, are you sure you are going to keep being healthy? I really don't want you to die soon." I cannot tell you how much that shook me to my core. In the past, she has seen me try and fail. She is still at the point where she wants to trust that it is going to stick, but is not certain. I wish she and everyone else in my life could see what is going on inside of me. Yes, the actions and steps I am taking are a reflection of that, but I am on FIRE. I am never going back. This time IS different. I am not trying get thin quick schemes. I am putting blood, sweat and tears into this. All I can do is keep showing by example. I love my family and my reminders. This is for real!!!

Every.Last.Step

I'll start tomorrow is a trap

There are a lot of tomorrows but only one today. If you keep saying you'll start tomorrow, that could go on forever. Say, "I'm starting today"!

Superhero

Daddy asked the girls this morning who their favorite superhero is. Without missing a beat they both said, "Mommy". MELT MY HEART and MAKE ME CRY why don't ya. That was priceless.

It is equally important that my girls know that Mommy is human and part of a fallen world just like everyone else. I am not perfect and I make mistakes. The important thing is moving on from the mistakes.

LOVE MY FAMILY

Your health is your life

Coincidence that when you type into Google, "How many calories do I need" that the first website that pops up to help you calculate is "American Cancer Society". I think not.

6 week weigh in

Pounds Lost this week: 3.2
Pounds to Lose: 102.4 (only five more 20s to lose)
Pounds Lost: 20.6 total
What weighs 20 pounds: An automobile tire. WHAT!!!!!
...
Weekly Fitness
Walk/Run: 14.26 miles
Spin Class: 2 hours
Zumba Class: 1 hour
Body Pump: 1 hour
Elliptical: 50 minutes
Stationary Bike: 15 minutes
...
Benefits Felt
1. Jogging in longer spurts during walk/jog
2. Able to site side by side with Katelyn on a recliner without overlapping
3. More clothes are getting lose
4. Others are noticing the weight loss
5. Able to bend down easy peasy to tie my shoes
6. Able to push my girls on the swings at the park and be active with them instead of sitting on the sidelines
7. Katelyn has noticed the weight loss and has made comments
8. No more fear of dying or heart attack

Lessons Learned
1. The calorie zigzag seemed to work this week
2. The final number is not as important as the benefits felt along the way. Don't forget to celebrate those
3. What other people think of me is none of my business. Thanks Elizabeth for that
4. My image of myself is going to take a while to catch up with how I feel on the inside

No looking back - New found reason

Things just got REALLY Real
I don't know about ya'll but I have some major clarity when I'm running. 99.99% of the time I don't wear head phones so I can listen to my feet on the pavement and the voice of God. I get real with God. He gets real with me. Tonight I heard Him SCREAMING a message to me. One I'll live for. One I will never forget. One I'll keep fighting for. "Sarah, you were committing suicide with food and lifestyle. There are millions of young ones and children that lose their lives too soon. They don't have a choice. This is something YOU have control over. Don't leave your family. Keep going. Honor those who did not have a chance at life. Don't throw this away."

I did not run an organized race tonight, I did not have a crowd of people cheering me on. I did not receive a medal. I did not cross a finish line.

I did run half of the 3 miles. This should not have been possible with the amount I've been able to run lately (not very much). God gave me a strength tonight that is WELL beyond my understanding. I did receive the message loud and clear. I have a NEW purpose. I will never give up. I will keep fighting for those that didn't have a chance. I will keep fighting for those that can't. I will keep moving for those that can't anymore. I will do this for my family. I will do this for ME. I heard you God. I will honor you. I will not quit.

Every.Last.Step

Bad Weather - No Excuses

When life gives you crappy weather and misread fitness class schedules you make it work. 25 min elliptical + 15 minute stationary bike + 25 minute elliptical = 441 calories gone forever!

Drink your water

Having a hard time getting your daily intake of water? First, use this water calculator to decide how much you need. Then, take a look at these ideas for fruit infused water. Simply add the favored fruit/herb to a pitcher of water. Put in refrigerator for 2 hours, and then drink away. This fruit infused water has helped me double my intake of water
1. Fresh Mint, Fresh Lemon (quartered), Fresh Lime (quartered)
2. Fresh Mint, Strawberries, Fresh Lime (quartered)
3. Strawberries, Fresh Lemon (quartered)
4. Fresh Mint, Cucumber slices
5. Fresh Orange (quartered), Fresh Lemon (quartered), Fresh Lime (quartered)
6. Fresh Pineapple chunks, Fresh Mint
7. Fresh Blackberries (squished in pitcher with wooden spoon), fresh sage


Link to hydration calculator. Remember, if you are eating a clean, healthy diet, approximately 20% of your water comes from fruits, foods you are eating.

http://nutrition.about.com/library/blwatercalculator.htm

Tonight Got Real - Raw Feelings

I took my place in the front of the Zumba class, ready to dance (well move awkwardly). There are mirrors all around. This larger women caught my eye. This women was wearing the exact same thing I was wearing. She kind of looked like me but was larger. I did a double take only to realize she was ME! What? I'm that big? I had to look at the person next to me and then look at her reflection to confirm the mirrors were not fun house mirrors, purposely skewed to make you look bigger than you are. I was in SHOCK. All this work, and I still look that big? In my head, I am fitter, leaner, stronger, thinner than the person I was. I am just waiting for my body to catch up. I know all of the following, but it was tough tonight:
1. You didn't put in on overnight and it's not going to fall off overnight
2. It's better to lose weight slowly, so you don't gain it back

I can't explain how frustrating it is that I let myself get this big. I'm telling you, now that my eyes are ALL the way opened, I see my body for what it is. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just realizing how much I have stuffed my image of myself and have not owned it for its true size. I am realizing how much of a battle this is going to be.

I DO know:
1. It will make me successful since I AM changed on the inside and have owned it.
2. This is tough but I am tougher.

GET OUTTA Here old me

Spin - WHAT A TEST
Today was a test. I had plenty of OLD excuses to choose from. Here are a few:
1. I was exhausted when I woke up
2. I turned off my alarm
3. I couldn't find my bike shorts so had to wear pants and be hot
4. The only sports bra I could find that early in the morning is VERY tight. We're talking "fat man in a little coat" tight
5. I got to the gym a little later than I wanted
6. The class was pretty full
7. I forgot my water bottles in my car. The old me would have gone out to the car mid-class and left

The New Me combated those excuses:
1. I would be more exhausted throughout the day if I didn't go. GET UP AND GO
2. I jumped out of bed when I realized that I was trying to slip back to my old ways
3. I wore the pants and thought, "If I'm hotter, I'll sweat more". ROLL EM' UP and deal with it!
4. At least I would be "well supported"
5. So I had to jog through the parking lot, not a bad thing
6. More people to witness this awesomeness on a bike....just kiddin' (kinda)
7. I did interval training. I got off the bike and jogged to my car to get the water bottles and went back in.

Your excuses only become excuses if you let them. Otherwise they are just obstacles you have to work a little harder to overcome.

WE.GOT.THIS
Every.Last.Step